March Report: GFSN National Cup Semi Final – Yorkshire Terriers vs Phoenix. Somewhere in Nottingham, 30/5/21

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So again an away game that I couldn’t attend so this time I’ll give you the result, the goals and then we head into media gold with multiple pictures and videos. I’m setting this up to be a too good, too bad style MOTD2 so be prepared to be called out on some rather interesting moments from the game…

First of all let’s briefly talk about the semi final, a trip to Nottingham, not Leicester and a record broken.

The journey up north is always an exciting one, Javi had worked wonders given little to no notice of a venue change so Phoenix headed to Nottingham for the clash with top dogs the Yorkshire terriers, pun intended. Artificial 5G surface is our golden pitch having performed well on each occasion and today it was to be the same. First half goals from Bleeding Knee Luke (I got gory photographic evidence post match) and Non Grunt Nicky giving Phoenix a commanding half time lead. I’m reliably informed that we should’ve been 4 or 5 up at this point with the Terriers only managing one shot, harmlessly sailing over the bar.


Half time team talk consisted of even more fabulous media…






























From what I can tell Phoenix were on top in the second half but the Terriers did make a game of it.



If you listen not so carefully you can hear an excited Spaniard on the sidelines…


Here’s a Chilly left footed floater from “It’s not Simon or Ben Chillwell” Rash, note his ever so slight disappointment that the on rushing Phoenixer managed to avoid the ball entirely in spectacular fashion…


My roving reporter tells me Terriers brought on a dangerous winger for the second half who surprisingly didn’t start. It was a more balanced affair too and Phoenix had to dig deep to protect the lead. Ukrainian Tom made a last ditch goal saving tackle towards the end which may have earned him a reluctant favoured position at CB. And Super Stopper Steve erases the free kick gremlins by saving well from a similar shot today that last week might’ve got by him.

There was a Terriers goal and a last minute scare but they didn’t get another so the final score 2-1 Phoenix! Another Cup Final to play and as defending champions! Apparently Yorkshire Terriers haven’t lost a GFSN match for 4 years, until today. Players who’ve given me a quick report mention this being the best Phoenix performance for quite a while, still unbeaten and still going strong.


Noteable performances/game moments, in order of importance.

1. Rash wins a header.

2. Double L Neill gets his grunt on.

3. I’m going to find it difficult to get into this line up if these performances keep on coming!


Now onto some much anticipated fun starting with video of how not to kick off.


There you go Tom, you’re on your own now, I’m not helping you anymore! Add in the Terrier rush like that of a hybrid engine on standby (you know what I mean Chris) and it’s a rather meek effort at pretty much nothing.


Brace yourselves, here come the funnies, starting with my favourite Gazelle replacer Jenny Denny.




Now these are great sporting captures for sure but pay close attention to the Denny expression of slight confusion. Putting words in his head I’d say he’d woken up in the middle of the pitch fully kitted up and then wonders, how did I get here? This is of course whilst still playing the game and doing all the things a good midfielder should do.¬†What a ball? Hmm maybe I should take it off him and Cruyff my way outta here!




If you doubt my description compare faces to Mr Anderson in the first picture, the pinnacle of concentration, whilst Rash, Ukrainian Tom and a Double L Neill quite frankly all look knackered! Heading to the second picture we find Shaz doing his catwalk knee drop off to the side, strut away my friend!




Onto some questionable dance moves now from Hybrid Chris and new captain Liam the Chieftain. The still action shots are unfortunately revealing, think of them as both doing the “broken robot” in tandem.






Here’s some classic Jack impatience, demands and resulting frustration starting with this image of yes play it there! Do it quick before I’m spotted, I’m definitely not offside at all, come on! Quicker!





Dammit, you did that on purpose now I’ve got to run after it! What is this some sort of joke pass? Ha ha, my fitness thanks you in advance Mr Anderson, just you wait til I tell Hugo Weaving where you’re hanging out.





Now we turn to Harrison doing his best impression of iron filings subjected to magnetism. Remember that physics experiment at school? Well here it is on the football field! See his hair perform magical moves, see the strain and resistance in his limbs, see the Terrier reaction just out of reach from magnet ball.



It’s a joint effort from Bleeding Knee Luke and his Terrier marker as they try desperately to direct the Terrier in front, this way, no that way. To me, to you. Yep keep going we’ll get there eventually…





Finally we’re going to Liam the Chieftain for a caption competition.

Something is up there for sure, but what it might be, that’s anyones guess! Is it a bird, is it a plane….it might be a ball or a player! I got yoooouuuuu!


So there we have it, thanks go out to Niall for some amazing photography and much needed Phoenix media that we can use going forward! Also thanks to my roving reporters giving me some key moments and overall game highlights.


I won’t be missing the final no matter where it’s played so see you there! I will need some notice though…is it stadium time yet?



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